Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Empire Building Part 2

Song of the Day

Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye

As soon as the empire building is available you are able to build three kinds of businesses, Protection Racket, Loan Shark and Prostitution. For each property you build you get a certain amount of money per day, which is paid  directly to you at 16:00. However, your businesses won't make real money until you max out your reputation in that sector. In order to do this, you must do side missions.

Each business type has their own side-mission, complete 15 of them and you will max out your reputation in that kind of business. They're all pretty easy, but can be quite time consuming and they offer little variation. 

Protection Racket

You can't expect to run a business in a town run by gangs without having to pay a little protection money. The whole point of these missions is to "convince" new clients to pay you, protect your current clients from rival gangs and then take a client off of them in retaliation. Out of the first three businesses these are the most time consuming and offers the least reward.

There are three stages to these missions, though there's no structure as to when certain ones pop up. The easiest one is where you merely have to convince a shopkeeper to pay you protection money. Just roll in, break stuff and he'll agree to pay you. Sometimes he'll call the cops but all you get is a one star wanted level, easy enough to get rid of.

The second is where a rival gang will attack one of your clients. This just involves driving to the site, killing the guards and killing the attackers inside the store. The shopkeeper will moan at you because he's a whining bitch (he's also cloned himself at least thirty times), but he'll carry on paying.

The third is a mix of the two, where you forcibly take a rival gang's client. Kill the guards, break the stuff inside. Break enough stuff more gang members will come inside the store in a futile attempt to protect it. Kill two or three of them and the whining bitch will agree to pay.

Each one counts as a job, finish fifteen jobs and you will max out your reputation in the Protection Racket industry, thus maximising your profits.

Also, once you build your first High-Roller premises you unlock a new outfit, the 'Hired Muscle'...

Loan Shark

Need money? But the bank won't lend you any? Don't worry, Uncle Vic will lend you some. Just be sure to pay him back, or else you may find your vehicle getting repossessed. Yes, the whole point of these missions is to steal vehicles. However, these are the easiest ones as there is only two kinds of vehicles to steal: a fast motorbike (the PCJ 600) and a delivery van full of cargo (a Benson).

The PCJ 600

First, to steal the motorbike is easy, you can either drive into the bike causing the driver to fly off, or if you get well ahead of them you can target them with your gun. Shoot them off and the bike is yours. Drive it back to base and you get $150 and the next job starts.

Benson

The next one is to steal a Benson truck full of cargo. It is recommended that you don't attack the vehicle directly, if you lose the cargo you fail the job. However, it's still simple, shoot the front of the van or ram your car into it and the passengers will either get out and flee, or get out and attack. Kill them if they attack, grab the van and drive it (carefully) back to base. Another $150 in the bank.

If you manage three in a row you get a bonus $250. The same will happen at six, nine, twelve and etc. It never goes up, so if you only want to do three at a time then that is fair. These missions are timed, but the time from the previous job gets carried over and eventually you'll have more than enough time to complete each job.

Repossess fifteen vehicles and you will maximise your reputation in the Loan Shark industry. Also, building your first High-Roller building will unlock a new costume, the 'Repo Man'...

Well, it should have been this, HMPH.

But instead it's this. Boring.

Prostitution

Are you a lonely rich man? Or just a bored rich man? Well, our girls will satisfy your every desire. Even if all you desire is a buddy to play Pong with, our girls can do that...for a price. Yes, it's time to be a pimp. These missions start out simple enough, drive one girl to her client, pick up another girl, drop her off with the next client and then pick up the first girl. Sometimes it will go without a hitch and you'll get a cut of the money. It will rarely go without a hitch.

The car you'll be using, the Polaris V8, is nice n' fast!

There are three things that can happen. 

1) The customer tries to run away without paying. This is easy to settle...run him over. You can collect the money he drops as a reward.

2) The customer tries to beat up the girl. While your girls can fight back, it's much more safer to just shoot the bastard down. 

3) The customer tries to kidnap the girl. The car you're in is fast so you can easily catch them. Ram their car, or shoot at it, they'll come out and try to attack you. Kill them. Win.

Do all of these fifteen times and you will maximise your reputation in the Prostitution industry. Also, building your first High-Roller brothel will unlock the 'Leisure' costume...

Motherf'ing P.I.M.P.

If you want lots of money early on, build lots of High-Roller Prostitution properties, you will get a healthy amount every day.

There are still three more business types, but they won't become available until we unlock them later on in the game. There will be a part three when that happens.

Next Time on VCS: Progress Report IV

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Empire Building Part 1

Song of the Day

How to be a Millionaire - ABC

A big part of Vice City Stories is the business side-missions. Although technically optional, by taking the time and effort to expand your 'empire' you can amass an insane amount of money in the early stages of the game. With this you can buy more businesses, to earn more money, to buy more businesses, to earn more money, to buy more businesses, to earn more money and etc.

By the end of the game, this looks like pocket change...

If you've played the original Vice City and San Andreas then it works like a mixture of the businesses in Vice City (you buy a business, do some missions for it and then it will make you money over time) and the gang wars in San Andreas (where you fight a gang for turf, whilst also defending your own areas. More turf for your gang = more money you can collect). 

However, most business sites are already occupied by other gangs. In the first island they are mainly occupied by Cholo's, who have been our biggest enemies in the first section of the game, and the Bikers, who we've barely seen. You can't just go in and buy a property, you must first forcibly evict the current occupants. You can tell who owns what in two ways; the first is by going to your map and seeing the colour of the property icon. If it's blue it yours, yellow means it's Cholo and black means the Bikers own it. Another way of telling is by the vehicle that's sitting outside it. Gang's have their own trademark vehicle. The Cholo have 'The Cholo Sabre' and the Biker's trademark is, unsurprisingly, a motorbike.

The Cholo Sabre

To initiate the attack on the property, you must first destroy the gang vehicle sitting outside. The easiest way is with a BOOM, but if you lack a BOOM-making device like a grenade then guns are adequate enough (though bikes are MUCH easier to destroy with a grenade). After that and a brief moment of loading, you will be attacked by a bunch of gang members. They can surround you so keep an eye on your radar. It's never a bad idea to invest in armour before taking on a business. Once all the gang members are dead, just walk on inside. Depending on how big the business is, as well as the type of business (more on that in part 2) you will have more gang members to kill inside, as well as a bunch of green arrows. These are to tell you "hey, destroy these!". Do so, and you've officially won. You get a reward but it's not quite over yet.

Before settling into your new premises, you have to actually buy it. Here you can choose the type of business as well as it's size. At this stage of the game only three types of businesses are available:

Protection Rackets (PR) - This is where shops pay you to protect them and their goods from gangsters. 

Loan Shark (LS) - If people don't pay back what they own, just take their car. Heck, even if they DO pay...

Prostitution (P) - Some people have needs and we're here to satisfy them. 

Three more will be unlocked later in the game. I'll go into more detail about the missions connected to each business in the next part.

Next you have to choose the size of the business. The bigger the business, the more it costs to build but it will earn more money. The three choices are:

Small-time: The smallest size, thus the cheapest but it makes the least money. Even by the time you unlock the empire building, you should have more than enough to always build bigger than this.

Costs: PR - $1,500, LS - $2,000, P - $3,000.

Medium-venture: This is the one you should be building early on, though you can still pretty much bypass this size immediately if you wish.

Costs: PR - $2,900, LS - $3,900, P - $5,900

High-Roller: The only one worth building, and it honestly doesn't cost that much, compared to the eventual reward at least. If money was more useful in this game it would honestly be game-breaking...if you don't consider being able to buy unlimited ammo and armour to not be "game-breaking". 

Costs - PR - $4,400, LS - $5.800. P - $8,800

There are 30 properties you can acquire overall, enough for five of each kind, though there's nothing stopping you from building 30 of the biggest money-maker by the end of the game. 

Coming up in Part 2: An closer look at each of the business types and their side-missions.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 3

Progress Report III

Song of the Day

Turn It On Again - Genesis (Duke)

Story Missions Complete: 17/59

Mission 13; Takin' Out The White Trash - DRAMA, Louise forgot the baby's stuff when she ran away. We must go over to Marty's and get them! But OH NO, some of his men have come to attack us. Basically kill a bunch of guys, with the help of a baseball bat-wielding Louise and drive back to her place. They are supposed to chase you, but one only caught up to me just as I approached the mission marker. Easy.

Mission 14; Marked Men - Back to Phil's for a sec and we see him and Martinez having a little discussion. It seems Phil no longer trusts Martinez, but Jerry won't put work Phil's (and thus, our) way until he does trust him. All the honourable Sergeant wants us to do is check on some of his merchandise. Easy stuff. Everything goes according to plan...except it ends up being a trap and we have to kill our way out of it. We must drive back to Phil's, but Martinez's men will give chase. Phil decides to use his boomshine as EXPLOSIONS, so just concentrate on the driving. After this Phil decides to lay low for a while, but Vic refuses to follow suit. 

After this we get two pager messages, the first from Martinez warning us that we're still on his "shit list". Lovely. Also, Louise pages us to tell us we've got trouble from Marty...

Mission 15; D.I.V.O.R.C.E - SEE WHAT IT MEANS TO ME...SOCK IT TO ME SOCK IT TO ME SOCK IT TO...oh...erm...sorry, got carried away there. Anyway, we enter Louise's to find an obese lass all worried about Louise. This is Mary-Jo Cassidy, sister of Louise and Phil (though Phil never mentions Mary-Jo, or vice versa...). She tells us that Marty has kidnapped Louise and is threatening to "turn her out". Mary-Jo is actually a bit jealous of the attention Louise gets, especially after Vic decides to go rescue her. Drive to the Trailer Park where you see Marty drive off (almost running over Vic in the process).

We're then attacked by some of the Trailer Park Mafia, you can either fight or give chase immediately. Eventually Marty will make a stop and you finally get to kill him. This should be an epic fight, the last hour or so of the game has been building up to this moment when we can finally kill Marty and I want it to be special. However, I didn't notice him get out of the car and I immediately ran him over. Enter the car with Louise who is worried about how to look after her baby with Marty dead. Vic tells her not to worry and we drive off to the new safehouse in Little Haiti!

Villa del  Vance

Completing the mission also unlocks our second outfit, the 'Trailer Trash'.

San Andreas players may experience flashbacks...

Mission 16; To Victor, The Spoils: Remember how I said the Marty missions were tutorials for the business side-missions? Well, it's time to unlock them. Basically, Louise has a great idea to make money, Victor should take over Marty's businesses and become a gang leader himself. So, you grab two random guys, kill all the gang members protecting one of Marty's old places and then drive to the next place, kill all of them, go inside, take over the business and you win. Now you can start taking over businesses, which I'll write all about in a separate post. You also unlock the ability to recruit gang members, just like in San Andreas.

FRIENDS!

This pretty much marks the end of Act I (or, as I like to call it, The Tutorial missions). You get a pager saying that there is a visitor at the airport. Oh boy, I wonder who it is?

Mission 17; Jive Drive: Oh hey, look who it is...

Lance Vance...err..before he got "cool".

You didn't expect the brother of our hero to not show up, right? Well here he is, and Vic isn't too happy. Vic claims that Lance always gets the two of them into trouble. After some pleading, Vic agrees to let Lance help. Now, onto the mission. The Cholo attack you ("You killed many Cholo. So the Cholo will kill you plenty"). It's a rail shooter mission, Lance drives and we shoot. The mission can be tricky if you suck at first person aiming (like me) and especially if you suck using the PSP's control nub (like me). It took me fourteen attempts to beat this..though I had mastered the rail shooter section by the third or fourth. After Lance drives off a ramp and blows up our lovely car, we are surrounded by Cholo. This section gave me a lot of trouble, since there are Cholo all around you. My biggest problem was that I always decided to stay in one place and shoot, which is stupid. Another problem? Lance isn't bulletproof, and if just one Cholo gets shots in on him, he's as good as dead. 

After this you've still got more to take care of, as you'll inevitably end up with a two star wanted level. You have two options, either drive straight to Lance's hotel while evading the police, OR go to the nearby Pay n'Spray and get rid of the attention. I prefer the second option, even though it involves going the opposite direction for a few seconds. After that, drive Lance to his hotel and win. This unlocks a Louise mission and we get a pager from some fella called 'Umberto Robina'. Vice City players will remember that name...

Cast

Mary-Jo Cassidy

(Voiced By: Cathy Trien)

The sister of Louise and Phil, she's a rather minor character overall. She's good natured enough, but she does get jealous of the attention that her (better-looking, thinner) sister gets, she genuinely gets upset when Louise is kidnapped that it wasn't her. 

Lance Vance

(Voiced By: Philip Michael Thomas)

Making his second appearance in the GTA series, Lance Vance will act as Vic's main ally during the game, even though he has a knack for getting them both in trouble. He has ambitious plans, but for now he's just Vic's speccy bro.

His voice actor is most famous for being Ricardo Tubbs in the 80s TV show 'Miami Vice', which both Vice City games are heavily influenced by.

Next on VCS: Businesses. 

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 2

Progress Report II

Song of the Day

Holy Diver - Dio

Story Missions Complete: 12/59

Mission 8; Fear The Repo - During the cutscene, Vic walks in on Louise doing her exercises, they have a laugh before Marty shouts at Louise for dressing like a whore. She's fed up at his crap and leaves with the baby. HOORAY! Marty doesn't seem to care and orders us to "acquire" some vehicles from people who apparently owe him money. Easy mission, just go around steal the cars and bring them back. The third vehicle is a delivery truck and as soon as you steal it you'll be chased by the police, but it shouldn't be much bother. This is something else that will be a part of the business side-missions later on.

After this mission you get a message from Louise and you can now do a mission for her, but we'll get Marty's ones out the way first. First comes the money, THEN the power, THEN the women.

Mission 9; Waking Up The Neighbours - This is the sex minigame in Vice City Stories where you and Marty...just kidding, this mission is a simply case of destroying Cholo vehicles. Marty gives you grenades to do the job. You know what that means...

BOOM HAHAHAHAHA!

After making two cars go BOOM, you get Cholo's chasing you, but after the third BOOM it's mission wo and $500 in the pocket.

Mission 10; O, Brothel Where Art Thou? - 

They see what you did there, Rockstar...

Continuing the tutorial for the business side-missions, this is one on taking over a business. Marty wants to spread out (heh) to the prostitution industry, and we're to help. Basically, all you have to do is blow up the gang car outside the business, kill the people who come out to protect it, go inside, break a bed ("business assets") and you win. Easy enough.

Mission 11; Got Protection? - Yes I do. Thanks for asking, game. The Cholo have decided to get revenge at us, by killing the hard-working ladies of the night who are on the street. You just have to pick them all up before they die (making it a timed mission), and luckily they do have protection...each one is packing a sub-machine gun and are more than capable of taking out anything. Including, on my first take of the mission, each other. Collect all three, head back to brothel and you are done with Marty, the god-dammed son of a prick bastard piece of......LET ME GO....fine, I'll stay calm...

Enjoy that beer...it maybe your last...

Mission 12; When Funday Comes - FUCK QUAD BIKES. FUCK THE PSP. Ugh, to recap, Louise is all ":(" because her life sucks, Vic is all ":(" because his life sucks. Naturally the cure to life sucking, quad bike racing. I know I've said I've "completed" it, but I haven't, because I don't know when I actually will. To cut a long story short, I can only turn left in this race if my PSP feels up to it. The game recognises the command, you see the wheels turn left, but it just keeps driving forwards. I'm prepared to either blame the UMD or the control nub. I've basically mastered the art of quad bike driving in this game, but all it takes is for the game to decide it won't let me turn left once and I'll crash into a wall and the race is pretty much lost. I'm starting to sympathise with Marty here...

FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Cast II

 

Marty Jay Williams

Voiced By: Jim Burke

If there's one thing GTA does well, it's making you do missions for people you really can't wait to kill. Marty is no exception. He's a redneck, he abuses his wife, he's always drunk and he's lives in a trailer. He heads the Trailer Park Mafia, but his "empire" will soon belong to us, yes it will!

Louise Cassidy-Williams

(Voiced By: Chelsey Rives)

The long-suffering wife of Marty Jay Williams and sister of Phil Cassidy, Louise will act as Vic's love interest in the game. But will being with Vic solve all of her problems? Who knows? Who cares? It's a GTA game, she'll either end up dead or...erm...no, she'll probably end up dead.

Mary-Beth Williams

(Voiced by....she's a baby...)

The baby of Marty and Louise. By the end of the game it will be revealed that she was the mastermind of the whole thing, she's actually a God that has lived for over a thousand years. However, thanks to Vic's showing her friendship and love, she finds value in humanity and decides to help save the world alongside Vic and I'm just kidding, she's a baby, she does nothing, why did I include her?

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 1

Progress Report 1

Story Missions Complete: 7/59

After a couple of quick cutscene's showing Vic arriving in "Fort Baxter", Vice City's army base, you automatically end up in the "mission cutscene", where you're introduced to Jerry Martinez (the Sergeant). 

Mission 1; Soldier: Martinez is presented to be an immature dickhead. Needless to say, he'll end up betraying us at some point, but for now he's asked us to pick up a "package". This is basically a tutorial for driving and swimming. Just drive to the airport, swim to shore after the cutscene and then get back to base. Easy money.

Mission 2; Clearing House: Turns out the "package" from the last mission is a load of weed and Martinez has asked Vic to keep it hidden. Clearly this will end well. He has another job opportunity for Vic, this time to collect money off a guy he's selling guns too. This introduces Phil Cassidy, who makes his fourth appearance in a GTA game. It's another tutorial, this time for combat. Kill the cholo (latino gang) guarding the house, kill those inside, win. Easy Money 2: Electric Boogaloo. This also unlocks the shooting range.

Mission 3; Conduct Unbecoming: Martinez spends most of this cutscene watching a porno (between Vice City character Candy Suxx and a horse, as he delightfully tells us). Watching it has made him horny and has asked us to pick up his favourite lass, Mary, and bring her back to base. First, you have to visit Phil to get a specific car and then to have to talk to a lass who tells you where Mary is, drive there, kill the attackers, drive her back to base. The ensuing cutscene see's Victor get shouted at for having marijuana under his bed and then for taking a prostitute into base, thus getting kicked out of the army. Phil then pages you telling Vic he has work and a place to stay for our hero.

Mission 4; Cholo Victory: The first Phil mission. He is drunk and he hates the cholo who forced him out of his home. This is a tutorial on AI buddies performing drive-bys. You have to chase a cholo in his car, get close enough and Phil will start shooting. Then the car blows up, you win. After this, Phil pages us to tell us that his brother-in-law has work for Vic if he wants it. We'll carry on with Phil for now.

Mission 5; Boomshine Blowout: In retaliation for the last mission, the Cholo have set fire to Phil's warehouse where he stashed his home-made liquor. Once you get there it's a timed mission where you have to drive a forklift to the liquor and place it in the back of his truck. The twist is that every time you do, the warehouse crumbles a little more blocking off a path. Here, have a map to show what I mean:

The best one I could find via a Google search...

Save all four crates and win. It's probably the first mission you are in danger of failing if you've never played it before, or like me, terrible at driving in GTA games (especially on the PSP...).

Mission 6; Truck Stop: Phil is joined at his place by our good friend Jerry Martinez. Vic is obviously very happy to see the man who was responsible for ruining his army career, basically all he says here is "FUCK YOU". Lovely. Basically, Martinez wants us to grab a truck full of guns, and since he's paying how could we refuse? Basically same as Cholo Victory, but instead, you have three buddies instead. After you stop the truck, you have to protect Phil while he drives it back. All you have to do is drive close to Phil and let your two silent buddies shoot all the evil cars who chase us. Get him home, get paid. This is the last Phil mission...for now.

Mission 7\; Shakedown: The first mission for Phil's bro-in-law Marty, and also an introduction to the main love interest of the game. Marty is a violent, abusing redneck son-of-a-bitch, so it's a safe bet that we'll be killing him very soon. For now, this is the first tutorial for the "business" side-missions that will become available soon enough. The first stop is to protect a shop under attack from a couple of gang members. Marty runs a protection agency, and soon, so will we! Among other things... The second stop is to another shop (with an identical shopkeeper, in both appearance and voice. C'mon Rockstar, at least try!), this time to force him to pay Marty protection money. Break some of his stuff, kill the Cholo's who come to protect the business, and win.

Cast

Victor Vance

Voiced by: Dorian Missick

A respectable man thrown into the life of crime after being kicked out the army, Victor is our protagonist for the game. He joined the army in order to pay for his sick brother's medication, he'll soon find himself in charge of a criminal empire, aided by his other brother, Lance Vance. It's been confirmed by Rockstar that Victor was indeed the unlucky Vance brother who died at the start of Vice City.

Jerry Martinez

Voiced by: Felix Solis

An immature dickhead who somehow became a Sergeant in the Army, Martinez likes drugs, prostitutes, pornography and long walks on the beach. One at a time, ladies. It's fair to assume that he'll end up being the main antagonist of the game.

 

Phil Cassidy

Voiced by: Gary Busey

There is only one thing we need to say about Phil Cassidy, who makes his fifth appearance in a GTA game...

You're welcome.

Character images taken from: The GTA Wiki

To be continued...

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Introduction

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
Year: 2006 (PSP), 2007 (PS2)
Developer: Rockstar Leeds
Publisher: Rockstar Games

Everyone knows the Grand Theft Auto series. It's the game series that dominated the first half of the 00s and created the blue print for the sandbox action/adventure game that so many have tried to replicate. The last game in the 'GTA III' era was Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories, a prequel to the original Vice City. You play as Victor Vance, brother of VC original Lance Vance, a soldier who gets kicked out of the forces and turns to a life of crime in order to support his family. It received good reviews, an average of 86/100 according to Metacritic and had sold four and a half million copies by the end of April 2008. 

Our hero: Victor Vance. 

 

I really shouldn't be playing this game as part of this project, I was a mission or two of completing it on the PS2 version, but through reasons I cannot remember, I did not. Even worse...I have to play the PSP version  because I lost my PS2 copy. So here we are...

Vice City is one of my favourite settings in a game ever, and the soundtrack in this game is just as delightfully 80s as it's predecessor, so I will be posting a random song from the soundtrack with every post. You have been warned.  

Assassin's Creed II - Finished (The Truth)

At long last I have finished Assassin's Creed II. There is no doubt that it is a superior game to the original, I'll probably end up playing Brotherhood sooner rather than later. I bought both pieces of DLC, The Battle of Forli which I fairly enjoyed and Bonfire of the Vanities which I wasn't too keen on, though it was hardly terrible either. The whole ending was bizarre, but I like bizarre. I'm not going to spoil any of it, because if I tried to talk about it I'd probably just seem like I had a weird hallucination. If you haven't played Assassin's Creed II I urge you to, it is a great game.

So, the next game on the list is Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories, but before I move on there is one more thing I want to talk about in regards of Assassin's Creed.

The Truth

The entire Assassin's Creed universe delves heavily into 'conspiracy' territory. In the game, the Templars and the Assassin's are at war with each side trying to recover the Pieces of Eden, ancient artifacts with great power. While Desmond is living Ezio's memory, you will come across twenty "glyphs" spread all throughout the various cities. These have been placed by 'Subject Sixteen', and each one reveals more about "the truth". You have to solve a puzzle and each one usually reveals how a Piece of Eden was used by various people in history (including some mythical...)

Apple - Piece of Eden

According to the Assassin's Creed universe, every notable act you can think of by any historical figure has been because of these Pieces of Eden. The Apples, which was the only Piece of Eden we knew about prior to AC II, have been in the possession of the likes of Adolf Hitler, Gandhi, Tesla, Houdini, various American Presidents among many others. By the end of the game we know of many more PoE, including a sword (wielded by Joan of Arc and King Arthur (think Excalibur)), and a staff (The Papal Staff, to be exact, which plays a huge role in the ending). It really seems very silly to think about, but within the Assassin's Creed world it kinda works.

The Papal Staff - PoE

Completing each one unlocks a snippet of a clip. Unlock all twenty and you get the whole video, which is interesting...and that's all I can say without spoilers (though it's not hard to figure out, just think "Piece of EDEN"...).

Now, I could ramble on even more, but instead, I'm going to link to a video, which explains more about these Glyph's in incredible detail, it's a five parter, though they're not quite finished yet (there's three parts up as of writing). The guy is from the SomethingAwful forums, and he's doing a 'Let's Play' of AC II, which is also really good. He also did one for the first game, which was excellent also. If you are interested, just search for 'GeopLP' on YouTube, or find his thread in the Let's Play subforum of Something Awful. 

The Truth (Part I) - GeopLP.

Now, the next is a GTA game, so hopefully less words, words, words will be needed. See you then.