GTA Online - My Diary

1st of October 2013

15:00

I woke up at nine in the morning. It wasn't noon yet, so I went back to bed. The next time I woke it was 1 in the afternoon. It was past noon now, so I got up. I turned on my Playstation 3 so it could update, but I had to get some shopping. It was around two o'clock when I got back to my flat - I turned on the PS3 and it told me that it had updated Grand Theft Auto V. Finally, over a week after finishing the story mode, I could sink my teeth into Online. I'll be honest, I wasn't really expecting to be able to get on, not right away, but what harm is there in trying?

19:00

Well, I've tried multiple times now, but still no dice. That's okay, I just bought Kingdom Hearts HD so really, not being able to get onto GTA Online really did me a favour. Time to revisit one of my favourite games from my early teen years!

23:00

I'm sure once I'm out of Wonderland Kingdom Hearts gets good, right? Anyway, I have university tomorrow, so I better go to sleep.

2nd of October 2013

13:00

I got somewhere! After creating my fourth character, I finally got into Online sort of! At least I got to see the intro cutscene! That's progress! And hey, there's Lamar, I love that guy! Granted, it kicked me out as soon as I tried to play the first race, but surely this is a sign that I'm close!

14:00

Okay, this isn't working. Perhaps I just need to go away and come back later and maybe I will finally get on!

18:30

 Huh, it still didn't save my character. But why? I got into the intro cutscene! Now I have to create ANOTHER character. And by create, I mean spam the "Random" button until I get a character who looks less like he's just snorted his body weight in cocaine. 

20:00

Well, another day, another failure to connect. But hey, I wanted to play more Kingdom Hearts anyway, I'm sure tomorrow will be the day I finally get in!

23:00

I'm sure once I'm out of Tarzan's Jungle, Kingdom Hearts gets good, right?

3rd of October 2013

11:00

This is the day! I feel it in my bones! I will finally get into GTA Online! I can't wait to do all the stuff I can do in singleplayer, but online! Today will be a good day!

12:00

The internet is off in this building. I don't know what to do. How did people cope before the internet age? Help me. I suppose I could go outside? But it's so...outsidey out there! I might get assaulted! I might catch the sniffles! I might get carjacked! I mean, I don't drive - I don't even have a car - but it could still happen! I think I'll just stay inside and stare at the wall until the internet is back up. It'll only take a half hour, surely?

19:00

 It's back up! Time to try again! Clearly my time is now! Yes? Yes!

19:20

No. I'm still being denied my GTA Online. I've seen the intro cutscene three times now. Lamar's still cool, I guess. I guess I should just be patient, this is the first time Rockstar have done an Online launch of this magnitude. I'll try one more time, and if it doesn't work, then oh well, I won't be angry.

19:21

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON I JUST WANT TO PLAY A FUCKING GAME IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR ROCKSTAR YOU FUCKS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!

19:22

I'm not sure what happened there, but I apologise. I'm sure once Rockstar release their patch tomorrow it will all be okay. I guess I could go back to Kingdom Hearts and try again tomorrow.

21:00

I'm sure once I'm finished with Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts gets good, right?

4th of October 2013

13:00

The patch is downloaded! This should fix it! I forgive Rockstar, it's clearly not their fault - there was just too many people trying to get on. But now that's settled a bit and the patch is live, surely it's time for me, no?

13:30

Really? Another bloody character? Why won't it save the ones I've made. This stupid cutscene AGAIN. SHUT THE FUCK UP LAMAR, YOU FUCKING SUCK AND I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DIE.

14:00

Failed to join activity. Please return to GTA Online. There has been an error joining a session, please return to Grand Theft Auto V. Could not play Grand Theft Auto V, please return to reality. There has been an error joining reality, please return to your own fractured subconscious. Waiting for other players......................................

Failed to join your own fractured subconscious, please return to GTA Online.

14:23

I'll try one more time.......Nope.

I'll try one more time.......Nope.

I'll try one more time.......Nope.

I'll try one more time.......Nope.

15:01

It's just a game, they tell me. Just a game. That's all it is. A game. A GAME! But it won't let me play. And no play means no game. And if there's no game, then what is it? What is real and what is fantasy? Maybe this is a dream and when I go to sleep is when I live my real life. Woah, I've just figured out life! Since this is a dream, there is no consequences, because I'd just wake up and it will all have happened in my head. Yeah, I can do anything! So, what will I do now that I live a life without consequences? Hmm...

15:02

I'll try one more time.......Nope.