Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Super Amazing 50th Post Extravaganza - Super Mario 64 Finale

This is half a celebration, and half a message of defeat. For yes, I have managed to type out 50 pages worth of words, with pictures and videos for everyone to look at and admire. But at what cost, I ask you? The cost...of defeat. For I am waving the white flag. We can go home now, but will the nightmares end? Will the burning question of "What if?" ever fade away? I already know the answer to these's a bloody video game stop taking it so seriously, me. So, I've decided that there's no point in getting all 120 Stars in Super Mario 64, who cares. I should be happy enough, I got over a hundred and my save file will be there another day.

Honestly, the past month I just really having had the patience for Mario 64. It's a great game, don't get me wrong, but playing the later levels is more frustrating than anything else. I've never pretended to be the world's most skilled gamer and SM64 isn't the hardest game in the world, but I don't know the later levels and they do require some skill to totally complete. So whatever, it's time to end this and move on to Dark Forces before I hate Mario forever. So, for the very last time, let's look at the levels...

Tiny, Huge Island

File:Tiny-Huge Island 64.png

Stars - 7/7

I like the idea of this level more than I like this level. In fact, it was my pursuit of getting all seven stars that made me decide it just wasn't worth it any more. The biggest problem with this level is that it is really easy to die if you make a slight mistake. On Tiny Island it is easy to slide off into oblivion, or be pushed there by a tiny Goomba. The actual stars were fine to get, but getting 100 coins was the most frustrating part as I just kept dying. The worst came at 99 coins and then being pushed by a tiny Goomba into a bottomless pit. I definitely had 99 problems after that, and they're all Tiny Goombas.

Tick, Tock Clock


Stars- 4/7

I'm on the fence about this level. Perhaps I should give it more time (har har) but if there's anything more frustrating than tiny Goombas, it's getting near the top of this level, missing a jump or getting forced off an obstacle and then falling to your death. I had a lot of experience falling in this level, though when everything was going well I was having fun until I got to the clock hands. Sure, you can make them go faster depending at what "time" you go into the level in, but having to wait for it to arrive is hardly what I call a good time. I missed out on three stars: the 100 coins, Stomp the Thwomp (never managed to actually reach it, must have kept going the wrong way) and "Timed Jumps on the Moving Bars", which I did reach once but then died somehow. Still, it's not a terrible level.

Rainbow Ride

Stars - errr...

No. Just no. I have nothing to write here, I tried to get the first star twice, didn't manage. That was a week ago at the time of writing and I've had no urge to play any more of this. Luckily, my main goal in any game is to merely beat it, and I have over thirty more stars then I need in order to finish this. So, I'm going to take a break from writing and come back when I've defeated Bowser once and for all*!

(*won't actually be 'once and for all')

Bowser in the Sky

File:Bowser in the Sky.png

I didn't do too badly on this, died twice because of a stupid fire-spitting ball, but other than that I got through it fine (though if I was actually going for the red coins, that might have been different). And of course, at the end of it all we've got...

File:Mario vs Bowser 64.png
Who knew Bowser and Mario were swingers?
The hardest Bowser boss of them all, which makes sense since it's the last one. You have to throw him into the bombs three times in order to win. At first I had problems trying to throw him into the bombs, I blamed the camera though once I realised they were placed in the shape of a star I could mentally map out where they all were, even when the camera barely gives you a clue. After the second time, Bowser will do something that causes most of the stage to fall, leaving behind a star-shaped platform. This makes it harder to evade his 'charge' attack, as well as his 'rain fire' attack. Honestly my tactic throughout the whole fight was to keep my distance, try to goad him into chasing me and then when he stops it gives you a chance to grab his tail. 

And is done. We've saved Princess Peach and her castle from the grasps of Bowser, and now we can finally enjoy that cake. And I can enjoy moving on to the next game: Star Wars: Dark Forces. Until then allow me to play you out...

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