Crash Bandicoot - Finale!

It's time. We've battled a fat man, a deranged kangaroo, a 'roided up koala, a gangster potoroo and an intellectually challenged mad scientist to get this far, but finally we are here. The end game. The last two months of Sonic and Crash has made me very angry towards mad scientists, and honestly I cannot wait to get my hands on Cortex...but first we have two more levels!

The Lab is a short level, which seems longer than it is because it is quite difficult for beginners like myself.

The main gimmick to the level are those metal crate switches, they either make a bridge or open a door, but usually only for a short amount of time. Too many times I've thought I was safe to go ahead, only for a bridge to come apart as I landed on it and fell indefinitely in the nothingness below.

These electrical pillars shoot out a number of charges in a row, not too difficult to get the timing down though. If you get hit by too many of these, it truly would be 'shocking'. I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke, for crimes against humour I should be 'charged'. Oh ho ho ho.

The blob from the N. Brio boss fight has a sister, and she wants to kick your ass. Same technique as before, jump on its head and it was dissolve.

Here is an evil trick. All throughout the game, you see a cluster of crates and your first inclination is to spin into it. However, if you do that here...

You blow up the hidden TNT. There's no Aku Aku here, it is instant death no matter what.

This is actually one of my favourite enemies in the game. Don't get me wrong, he's annoying as hell. He conjures up an electrical charge in his hands, you touch him (or vice versa) and you will die...but when he's not charging up you can knock him back with a spin attack. The only way to kill him is to knock him off the platform. And they do a Howie Scream on the way down. It's awesome and that's the only reason why I like them so much.

Since it is the last proper level, there are some tricky sections. Like here, where you have to jump over the retracting bridge, set off the TNT, get away from it (which either involves getting back on the bridge or just jumping to the side sections) and then jumping back to where the now-exposed switch is.

However, I never felt it was THAT difficult. I mean, I Game Over'd...but only because I had three lives going into the level and I've never played it before. I like to choose it's because I have grown as a gamer over the week I played this game and now possess, for the first time in my life, some actual gaming skill.

Then I remember Slippery Climb and I cry myself to sleep.

One last tricky jump (hit the furthest away TNT block and it should bounce you to the far platform) and we've done it. Just one level separates us and Cortex.

The Great Hall? Well, after all this platforming I sure hope Dumbledore gives Gryffindor the House Cup, otherwise all this will be for naught!

Are we ready for the last level of Crash Bandicoot? My body certainly is, so let's go!

Now, I should warn you all, this level does not turn out well. I lost so many lives. I tried to keep count, but I lost it at around 121. Maybe...it's the end? Maybe I should hang up the controller once and for all? I mean, it's wireless so I'm not sure how I'd hang it up without it falling. MY GAMER CRED IS DOWN THE TOILET, and with it goes my sense of JUST KIDDING.

It's one jump and you win. NEXT!

...okay, I'll explain. In the first picture, do you see the gem? Well, this level is actually just a bonus level. Collect all the gems and this will take you to the alternate ending. However, I looked it up and it honestly, for all the work you have to put in, not worth it. You fly off with Tawna, and it has a slightly amusing "Where are they now?" bit for all the villains. and that's it. No fight with Cortex or anything. That's not how we do things here, this is Super Game FIGHTER, not Super Game Fly-Off-With-Oddly-Sexualised-Bandicoot-Women! TO THE FIGHT!

So this is the final boss and I like it. It's an easy boss, at least I only died the once due to me being an idiot, but otherwise I had no problem. Cortex has a laser gun which will shoot out laser balls. Each colour does something different...

See the middle of the screen? That's the purple attack, which is just a straight shot.

The blue balls (...sorry) he will shoot to the side of the screen, and a second later it will scroll across it. It's a case of either jumping over it or remembering not to jump into it. Easy 'nuff. Later on when it gets a little more crazy, the blue ones will zig zag across the arena but they move slow enough that it's easy to dodge.

Green ones you spin into it and it will hurt Cortex. Sometimes it will launch itself above Cortex, but by spinning into another green laser ball it will then attack Cortex.

It does get hectic towards the end, but get him down to one hit and you've practically won. He'll desperately start shooting green balls all over the place and all it takes is one...

...and we've won!

We've beaten the main bad dude, saved the girl and scored ourself a sweet new ride...

Thus setting the backdrop for the credits.

Final Thoughts

Crash Bandicoot is a hell of a lot of fun. The controls get a little getting used to but that might just be because we live in the age of analogue controls. The gameplay still holds up well, it's simplistic but in a good way. There's some annoying levels, but on the flip side, the satisfaction of actually beating them is a great feeling.

One thing to note: Crash Bandicoot looks bloody amazing when you compare it to other Playstation games. A lot of Playstation games that looked cutting-edge at the time, look like an hideous soup these days. Crash proves that a simple cartoonish art style tends to age better than what is "cutting edge". 

Should you play it? I'm going to say yeah! It's pretty cheap on the Playstation Network, and I'm sure there's plenty of copies on ebay if you want a physical one.

Now, it's time to reveal the next game. I could write about it...but instead, I made a crappy video!! Here it is:

Here is a link to it, it does feature a copyrighted song because I'm silly...