Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 6

Song of the Day

Electric Eye - Judas Priest

Progress Report VI

Story Missions Complete: 33/59 (WE'RE HALFWAY THERE!)

Mission 29; Snitch Hitch - Lance is still going on about that large shipment of drugs. However before he can tell us we get a visitor...The Vance Mother! This will be the only time we'll ever see her, though. Lance tells us we have to go "pick up a friend from the airport". As we step outside he tells us that he has a contact who is looking to get out of the game and is willing to sell what he knows to the first bidder. We have to drive all the way to the airport only to find out that someone else got there first. The ex-dealer warns us that the buyer has a private jet and a private army. Barely a challenge for the Vance Brothers. Drive over to the jet (it's basically around the corner) and waste everyone. After they're all dead Lance will go into the plane leaving you alone to deal with the Bikers, who also want the files. Again they are no match for us and once they are dead it's mission complete.

Mission 30; From Zero to Hero - This is it, this mission marks the beginning of the second half of the game. Lance tells us that it's time to get that shipment of drugs but Vic has reservations, he doesn't want to be involved in the drug game. Lance says that it will just be this one shipment and they will be set for life, and their brother will get the medication he needs. Lance eventually manages to convince Vic to do it by mentioning that the coke we're about to steal belongs to our good friend Jerry Martinez. 

Lance brings a couple of gang members with us for extra protection, though you really don't need it. Drive to the docks in Little Haiti and kill everyone there. Martinez will show up in a military helicopter so we need to get into the truck and follow Lance. The next section isn't hard, your truck takes a lot of damage and for an army Sergeant, Martinez is a terrible shot. It's time for us to head to the second island at long last, but as we cross the bridge Martinez will shoot missiles right in front of you. They are incredibly easy to dodge though.

Slow moving truck vs. an attack helicopter. 

There is police at the other end of the bridge and that scares off Martinez...but now they're after us. However, even with a four star rating, it's easy enough to get to the safe point. It's not far and your truck should still be in great health. Reach Lance's new apartment and you've won!

This unlocks a number of things, the most important being that now all of Vice City is open. This means we can now own all 30 properties, eliminate the Bikers for good (and the Sharks if we want). Speaking of, we can now build 'Drug' properties, which I'll talk about later when I've unlocked the other two business types. More sports cars are available for carjacking, including one of my personal favourites, the Infernus. It is also now possible to get a six-star wanted level (brilliant...) and we have a brand new safehouse. 

It's very low-key, the police would NEVER look for us in here.

Nice view though. There's the "Chunder Wheel", a reference to "The Warriors"...

Mission 31; Brawn of the Dead - Lance shows off one of his new suits, a erm..."lovely" blue suit...

I literally could not find a better photo to show it off, so...

Victor calls Martinez to gloat about stealing his coke, but Jerry has some bad news for us...the coke didn't actually belong to him, he was just the handler. The real owners were the Mendez Brothers, and they are looking to kill everyone involves, including Jerry and, gasp, US! Vic shouts at Lance, but he's got a buyer! Some film director is shooting a "z-list" movie in the mall, but can only do so at night. So, off to the mall! Once we arrive there the director tells us he needs a stuntman. Lance offers Vic's services while they talk "snow business". 

This mission is a fun little distraction after the big mission before. First you have to shoot at as many zombies as possible in one and a half minutes. There is a 'gore' meter that is always falling, you fill it up by shooting a zombie. If they come too close, the meter will fall faster. You have unlimited shotgun shells and they die in one hit, it shouldn't be a problem.

The next stage is to protect the record store from the zombies. You have a katana, again they die in one hit. This one is slightly harder, but it's still rather easy. After this Lance tells us of his success and we drive home to pick up the coke but it isn't there...and neither is Mother Vance. Yup, she stole the drugs that would have made the Vance family rich. What a bitch.

Clearly the Vance Bros. got their good looks from this saucy bird...

Despite not being able to sell him the drugs, the director does page us saying that if we want to "film 'snow white' see Remi...". This unlocks a new mission strand that we will get to much later. Lance also pages us telling us we need to see him pronto. Naturally 'pronto' in GTA speak is 'whenever you want', but let's do that next after taking care of some more businesses (of which we can now build 'Smuggling'). One more thing has been unlocked, a swanky suit for Vic...

Nice and subtle. Yep, Lance probably bought us this...

Mission 32; Blitzkrieg - Lance tells us that he thinks everything will be okay and tries to think of ways to keep the Mendez Brothers off their backs. Just then though he gets a phone call saying that the Mendez Brothers and their gang are attacking all of Vic's businesses. This mission is simple, I just drove to the nearest business (which was a ten second drive away from Lance's apartment), killed all the attackers and I won. Lance says something like "We won here, but other places might have lost", but I never noticed any of my empire being damaged.

Mission 33; The Mugshot Longshot - After the last mission, one of the Mendez Brothers pages us and asks us to meet him. They live in a nice house on Prawn Island, which is the small island in the north. The talkative brother, Armando, tells Vic and Lance that they will either work together...or the Vance Bros will be killed. A hard choice that is. He asks us who stole the coke and before Vic can answer Lance blurts out that it was Martinez. Armando wants proof. 

Lance, of course, has an idea...Jerry is turning to the witness protection system and he thinks that we can take a photo of Martinez talking to the DEA that will prove that he is talking to the cops about the Mendez's. He also thinks if we can get a photo of his face, Lance can put it in Forbes' old ID and make it look like he was an undercover cop. Excellent! First we have to drive to the police station and take a photo of Martinez talking to the DEA. Simple enough, don't get too close (the game will actually point out the best place to take it from).

Then you have to follow the car, easy stuff. And then finally take a good picture of Martinez while he stands on the boat. He will spot you, but he'll just get the DEA agent to drive the boat away from the "idiot taking pictures". Finally, drive to the print works (the only Tommy can buy in Vice City) and you've completed the mission.

Cast

The Mendez Brothers

Armando & Diego

(Voiced By: Yul Vasquez (A) & Ruben Trujillo (D))

The Mendez Brothers. Armando (the white suited man) is the more charismatic and is considered the leader of the two. Diego, the tough looking one, is quieter and only speaks Spanish. Yes, we're allies for now, but there's no doubt about it, they'll probably betray us soon...

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progess Report 5

Song of the Day

It's Like That - Run-D.M.C.

Progress Report V

Story Missions Complete: 28/59

Mission 24; The Audition: Lance T. Vance (the T is for Trust) hasn't wasted any time in making contacts in Vice City. He comes off the phone and tells Vic that he's got a job that will make them money "for nothing". First you have to drive to the local burger joint where Lance gets a phone call from his "player". It seems like we have to collect a car that has "merchandise" hidden inside it. Before we can any more details though there is a slight complication...robbers have entered the store. We have to shoot our way through only to be welcomed outside by the police who think that we respectable criminals were the ones who instigated the robbery. Well that's just rude. You can either steal a police car, or take the boring route and find a nearby parked car. I'd suggest the latter, there's usually one nearby.

Now we drive over to the Port Authority Building where the car has been impounded. There's seemingly no way in, but Lance has a plan! We drive a Sanchez (a good off-road bike) up the stairs, up a ramp (which includes a topical ET reference...which I can't find a picture of anywhere, you'll just have to take my word for it. After you get in the yard, kill all the people, get the car and them use the ramp to get back out. Lance will drive off with the car and that's mission complete.

Mission 25; Money For Nothing: We have a new buddy, Bryan Forbes'. It was him whose car we rescued in the last mission. This time he's asked us to help him take drugs from a warehouse. The idea is that while they get away with the drugs, we have to distract the cops. As soon as we drive off we get a three-star wanted level. The difficulty of the mission really depends on how well you can drive and if you're lucky with the cops. Sometimes they can attack you from all sides, but I've found driving up and down the grassy area at the right side of the island to be the way to go. After a while Lance will call to say they've reached their destination and now all we have to do is lose the cops. Go into a pay n'spray and the mission will end. A cool $1,500 in our pockets...which is actually chump change if you've expanded your business empire enough.

Mission 26; Caught as an Act: Lance will page us saying that he doesn't trust Forbes, and asks us to meet him at the Arena. We get there and after a little discussion with Forbes, Lance will show up and put a gun in Forbes' face. Turns out our new buddy was a cop. He manages to run away taking Lance's car. We have to chase him. The idea is to ram into his car and then drag him out, a cop is sure to have valuable information about various criminal activities. However, there is a slight complication...Lance had money in the back of the car. So now money is flying out of the car, we have to get Forbes before all the money flies out. The idea is to prevent Forbes from being able to drive forward and drag him out of the car. Lance finds a nice derelict apartment to hold Forbes in for now. 

We can now either take more missions from Forbes, he'll tell us about a couple of drug deals, or missions from Lance. We've already started with Forbes, so we may as well finish.

Mission 27; Leap and Bound: Forbes tells us about a dealer who doesn't like bodyguards and will only meet one-on-one. It seems a little too good to be true. Our job is to watch over Lance with binoculars while he deals with the dealer. However things don't go as planned, as the dealer beats up Lance and drags him onto a boat. We have to give chase, and luckily we got a Comet (one of the fastest cars in the game) to do so.

Super fast, but super easy to destroy: The Comet!

It's a simple matter of driving up the strip until the cutscene triggers. After that we have to get on the big ship and rescue Lance. Luckily there's a ramp right there. Unfortunately I didn't have enough of a run up ended up turning the car upside down, but thanks to a little glitch Vic ended up unharmed on top of the car and I managed to jump into the ship before the car exploded. On the ship are gang-members. Our good buddy Forbes lied to us! Now we have to shoot everyone we see, go inside, shoot more people until we get to a big room. We see three people crowding around Lance, one of whom is wielding a chainsaw (which I will naturally pick up for myself...)

I came, I chainsaw AND I CONQUERED! MUHAHAHAHA!

We rescue Lance from a pretty gruesome death and he says he'll get transport while we pick up the rest of the drugs. There are four packages on the ship to collect, and a bunch more gang members have spawned. They all die easily enough and once you collect the four packages just jump off the ship (on the ground side) and run towards the mission marker. Yet again Lance will leave us without even offering to give us a lift, but whatever, we've already won.

This also marks the first time we bump into the third gang of the game...The Sharks. It won't be the last.

Mission 28; The Bum Deal: Lance decides to grill Forbes a bit more about something he found whilst snooping around our buddy's apartment. Apparently there's a big shipment coming in soon and Lance wants more information. Forbes' tells us to go to a bar called "The White Stallionz" (you can tell it's edgy, there's a z!).

Best Friends Foreva!!

 However when we get there we find it's a biker bar alright...but they're dancing to disco...and they tell us our "kind" isn't welcome here. After a bar brawl with the racists, which quickly turns into a gunfight, we go outside to fight more gay bikers. Once they're taken care of we drive back to the apartment to see Forbes escaping on a Sanchez. The next part is easy enough, just go beside him and drive-by. Lance will be all like "I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM!" but it's too late. Drive Lance back to his hotel and the mission is complete.

Rest in Peace Bryan Forbes, our best buddy.

Cast

Bryan Forbes

(Voiced by: Daniel Oreskes)

Our best buddy for a whole five missions, he's the one who introduces the Vance Brothers into the drug game, only to turn out to be a cop, only to turn out to be dead. I'm sure Vic and Lance will mourn his death for the rest of the game. Or it will be completely forgotten about by the next mission.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 4

Song of the Day

Blue Monday - New Order

Progress Report IV

Story Missions Complete: 23/59

Mission 18; Hose the Hoes: Victor goes to visit Louise who tells our hero that our brothel is on fire! Louise joins us for this mission and points us in the way of a fire truck. Steal it and then drive over to the brothel you helped Marty acquire earlier in the game. Use the water cannon to put out all of the fires before the timer runs out. After that is dealt with Louise will point out one of Marty's cousins, who was obviously the firestarter, twisted firestarter. He dies easily though, thus completing the mission. Completing the mission actually allows us to build medium and high Prostitution businesses, obviously they didn't want us expanding this specific brothel before the mission.

Mission 19; Robbing the Cradle: Louise informs us that Social Services are threatening to take away Mary-Beth unless Louise puts out for the welfare man. She had sent thugs to kill him, but Vic feels this will only make it worse. So you have to save the bastard. Drive-by the thugs' car until they get out and then kill them. Now you have to chase the welfare man and scare him off. Shoot or ram his car until smoke comes out. He'll run out screaming and you've won. This ends Louise's mission strand.

Mission 20; Nice Package: Our first mission for Cuban leader Umberto Robina. However he won't form an alliance until we prove we have big balls. Mr. Robina has quite a fixation about big balls. Anyway we have to race a few other Cubans to reach a package. I didn't manage to get their first, but it doesn't matter, you can just blow up whoever did get it first and pick it up. Avoid getting blasted yourself and make it safely back to Robina's to win.

Mission 21; Balls: C'mon, Rockstar, you can do a little better than that, surely? This mission doesn't involve any sort of balls at all, all we have to do is escort a couple of Cubans to various spots in Little Havana. The Cholo's are causing chaos and it's up to us to stop them. However this is a rather easy mission since your two allies will competently drive-by anything, though you can make it go faster by running over Cholo's or helping with the drive-by's.

Mission 22; Papi Don't Screech: I remember this being an arsehole of a mission when I first played it five years ago, but it's honestly not that bad. Robina's hysterical because Cholo's have been seen driving towards the stadium, where Robina's dad is watching the wrestling. We have to pick him up and drive him VERY CAREFULLY to his café. He's old, you see, and you drive too fast, or crash too hard and his heart will give out and he will die. The second half of the drive home you have to deal with Cholo cars, if they spot you they will shoot, which is obviously not good for Alberto's heart. You can avoid them though. Arrive at the café before the generous time limit ends and win.

Mission 23; Havana Good Time: I love puns. This is the final Robina mission. Basically you have to drive to a Cholo warehouse, kill the guards. Then the Cuban's will roll in with a little gift for our Cholo buddies...

"Very tasteful"

We must now protect Robina's men as they load up their vans with guns. This is just a case of killing the waves of Cholo that arrive, nothing too hard to deal with. The hardest part of the mission is actually the escape, as you have to drive back to Robina's place in a slow-ass van. There is a pay n' spray nearby if you need to fix your van or lose the cops. The Cholo's will chase you and you can't out-speed them either. Manage to get back to Robina's and he'll praise us to high heaven while a cutscene plays of the Cholo, outraged at the pinata, attempt to destroy it only for it to explode in their faces.

This mission marks the end of the Cholo's at long last, as the Cuban's stand tall! If you haven't taken over all of their businesses (which you should, since they are the easiest to take over) then they'll become damaged, available for purchase (or Biker owned...). We also unlock a new outfit, the "Cuban Style"...

Cool...

Cast

Umberto Robina

(Voiced by: Danny Trejo)

The leader of the Cuban's, he makes his second appearance in a GTA game. Much like in Vice City, he acts as an ally for the player character, and is one of the rare few that remains loyal to both Tommy and Victor. He likes men with big balls, though he's all about the women.

Danny Trejo voices him in both games, an accomplished actor whose own life is an interesting story as well. He's appeared in movies such as Grindhouse, Heat and...uhh...Spy Kids. He's bad-ass enough to get away with it though...

Next time on VCS: Vance Brothers...UNITE!

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 2

Progress Report II

Song of the Day

Holy Diver - Dio

Story Missions Complete: 12/59

Mission 8; Fear The Repo - During the cutscene, Vic walks in on Louise doing her exercises, they have a laugh before Marty shouts at Louise for dressing like a whore. She's fed up at his crap and leaves with the baby. HOORAY! Marty doesn't seem to care and orders us to "acquire" some vehicles from people who apparently owe him money. Easy mission, just go around steal the cars and bring them back. The third vehicle is a delivery truck and as soon as you steal it you'll be chased by the police, but it shouldn't be much bother. This is something else that will be a part of the business side-missions later on.

After this mission you get a message from Louise and you can now do a mission for her, but we'll get Marty's ones out the way first. First comes the money, THEN the power, THEN the women.

Mission 9; Waking Up The Neighbours - This is the sex minigame in Vice City Stories where you and Marty...just kidding, this mission is a simply case of destroying Cholo vehicles. Marty gives you grenades to do the job. You know what that means...

BOOM HAHAHAHAHA!

After making two cars go BOOM, you get Cholo's chasing you, but after the third BOOM it's mission wo and $500 in the pocket.

Mission 10; O, Brothel Where Art Thou? - 

They see what you did there, Rockstar...

Continuing the tutorial for the business side-missions, this is one on taking over a business. Marty wants to spread out (heh) to the prostitution industry, and we're to help. Basically, all you have to do is blow up the gang car outside the business, kill the people who come out to protect it, go inside, break a bed ("business assets") and you win. Easy enough.

Mission 11; Got Protection? - Yes I do. Thanks for asking, game. The Cholo have decided to get revenge at us, by killing the hard-working ladies of the night who are on the street. You just have to pick them all up before they die (making it a timed mission), and luckily they do have protection...each one is packing a sub-machine gun and are more than capable of taking out anything. Including, on my first take of the mission, each other. Collect all three, head back to brothel and you are done with Marty, the god-dammed son of a prick bastard piece of......LET ME GO....fine, I'll stay calm...

Enjoy that beer...it maybe your last...

Mission 12; When Funday Comes - FUCK QUAD BIKES. FUCK THE PSP. Ugh, to recap, Louise is all ":(" because her life sucks, Vic is all ":(" because his life sucks. Naturally the cure to life sucking, quad bike racing. I know I've said I've "completed" it, but I haven't, because I don't know when I actually will. To cut a long story short, I can only turn left in this race if my PSP feels up to it. The game recognises the command, you see the wheels turn left, but it just keeps driving forwards. I'm prepared to either blame the UMD or the control nub. I've basically mastered the art of quad bike driving in this game, but all it takes is for the game to decide it won't let me turn left once and I'll crash into a wall and the race is pretty much lost. I'm starting to sympathise with Marty here...

FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Cast II

 

Marty Jay Williams

Voiced By: Jim Burke

If there's one thing GTA does well, it's making you do missions for people you really can't wait to kill. Marty is no exception. He's a redneck, he abuses his wife, he's always drunk and he's lives in a trailer. He heads the Trailer Park Mafia, but his "empire" will soon belong to us, yes it will!

Louise Cassidy-Williams

(Voiced By: Chelsey Rives)

The long-suffering wife of Marty Jay Williams and sister of Phil Cassidy, Louise will act as Vic's love interest in the game. But will being with Vic solve all of her problems? Who knows? Who cares? It's a GTA game, she'll either end up dead or...erm...no, she'll probably end up dead.

Mary-Beth Williams

(Voiced by....she's a baby...)

The baby of Marty and Louise. By the end of the game it will be revealed that she was the mastermind of the whole thing, she's actually a God that has lived for over a thousand years. However, thanks to Vic's showing her friendship and love, she finds value in humanity and decides to help save the world alongside Vic and I'm just kidding, she's a baby, she does nothing, why did I include her?

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories - Progress Report 1

Progress Report 1

Story Missions Complete: 7/59

After a couple of quick cutscene's showing Vic arriving in "Fort Baxter", Vice City's army base, you automatically end up in the "mission cutscene", where you're introduced to Jerry Martinez (the Sergeant). 

Mission 1; Soldier: Martinez is presented to be an immature dickhead. Needless to say, he'll end up betraying us at some point, but for now he's asked us to pick up a "package". This is basically a tutorial for driving and swimming. Just drive to the airport, swim to shore after the cutscene and then get back to base. Easy money.

Mission 2; Clearing House: Turns out the "package" from the last mission is a load of weed and Martinez has asked Vic to keep it hidden. Clearly this will end well. He has another job opportunity for Vic, this time to collect money off a guy he's selling guns too. This introduces Phil Cassidy, who makes his fourth appearance in a GTA game. It's another tutorial, this time for combat. Kill the cholo (latino gang) guarding the house, kill those inside, win. Easy Money 2: Electric Boogaloo. This also unlocks the shooting range.

Mission 3; Conduct Unbecoming: Martinez spends most of this cutscene watching a porno (between Vice City character Candy Suxx and a horse, as he delightfully tells us). Watching it has made him horny and has asked us to pick up his favourite lass, Mary, and bring her back to base. First, you have to visit Phil to get a specific car and then to have to talk to a lass who tells you where Mary is, drive there, kill the attackers, drive her back to base. The ensuing cutscene see's Victor get shouted at for having marijuana under his bed and then for taking a prostitute into base, thus getting kicked out of the army. Phil then pages you telling Vic he has work and a place to stay for our hero.

Mission 4; Cholo Victory: The first Phil mission. He is drunk and he hates the cholo who forced him out of his home. This is a tutorial on AI buddies performing drive-bys. You have to chase a cholo in his car, get close enough and Phil will start shooting. Then the car blows up, you win. After this, Phil pages us to tell us that his brother-in-law has work for Vic if he wants it. We'll carry on with Phil for now.

Mission 5; Boomshine Blowout: In retaliation for the last mission, the Cholo have set fire to Phil's warehouse where he stashed his home-made liquor. Once you get there it's a timed mission where you have to drive a forklift to the liquor and place it in the back of his truck. The twist is that every time you do, the warehouse crumbles a little more blocking off a path. Here, have a map to show what I mean:

The best one I could find via a Google search...

Save all four crates and win. It's probably the first mission you are in danger of failing if you've never played it before, or like me, terrible at driving in GTA games (especially on the PSP...).

Mission 6; Truck Stop: Phil is joined at his place by our good friend Jerry Martinez. Vic is obviously very happy to see the man who was responsible for ruining his army career, basically all he says here is "FUCK YOU". Lovely. Basically, Martinez wants us to grab a truck full of guns, and since he's paying how could we refuse? Basically same as Cholo Victory, but instead, you have three buddies instead. After you stop the truck, you have to protect Phil while he drives it back. All you have to do is drive close to Phil and let your two silent buddies shoot all the evil cars who chase us. Get him home, get paid. This is the last Phil mission...for now.

Mission 7\; Shakedown: The first mission for Phil's bro-in-law Marty, and also an introduction to the main love interest of the game. Marty is a violent, abusing redneck son-of-a-bitch, so it's a safe bet that we'll be killing him very soon. For now, this is the first tutorial for the "business" side-missions that will become available soon enough. The first stop is to protect a shop under attack from a couple of gang members. Marty runs a protection agency, and soon, so will we! Among other things... The second stop is to another shop (with an identical shopkeeper, in both appearance and voice. C'mon Rockstar, at least try!), this time to force him to pay Marty protection money. Break some of his stuff, kill the Cholo's who come to protect the business, and win.

Cast

Victor Vance

Voiced by: Dorian Missick

A respectable man thrown into the life of crime after being kicked out the army, Victor is our protagonist for the game. He joined the army in order to pay for his sick brother's medication, he'll soon find himself in charge of a criminal empire, aided by his other brother, Lance Vance. It's been confirmed by Rockstar that Victor was indeed the unlucky Vance brother who died at the start of Vice City.

Jerry Martinez

Voiced by: Felix Solis

An immature dickhead who somehow became a Sergeant in the Army, Martinez likes drugs, prostitutes, pornography and long walks on the beach. One at a time, ladies. It's fair to assume that he'll end up being the main antagonist of the game.

 

Phil Cassidy

Voiced by: Gary Busey

There is only one thing we need to say about Phil Cassidy, who makes his fifth appearance in a GTA game...

You're welcome.

Character images taken from: The GTA Wiki

To be continued...