Song of the Day
Blue Monday - New Order
Progress Report IV
Story Missions Complete: 23/59
Mission 18; Hose the Hoes: Victor goes to visit Louise who tells our hero that our brothel is on fire! Louise joins us for this mission and points us in the way of a fire truck. Steal it and then drive over to the brothel you helped Marty acquire earlier in the game. Use the water cannon to put out all of the fires before the timer runs out. After that is dealt with Louise will point out one of Marty's cousins, who was obviously the firestarter, twisted firestarter. He dies easily though, thus completing the mission. Completing the mission actually allows us to build medium and high Prostitution businesses, obviously they didn't want us expanding this specific brothel before the mission.
Mission 19; Robbing the Cradle: Louise informs us that Social Services are threatening to take away Mary-Beth unless Louise puts out for the welfare man. She had sent thugs to kill him, but Vic feels this will only make it worse. So you have to save the bastard. Drive-by the thugs' car until they get out and then kill them. Now you have to chase the welfare man and scare him off. Shoot or ram his car until smoke comes out. He'll run out screaming and you've won. This ends Louise's mission strand.
Mission 20; Nice Package: Our first mission for Cuban leader Umberto Robina. However he won't form an alliance until we prove we have big balls. Mr. Robina has quite a fixation about big balls. Anyway we have to race a few other Cubans to reach a package. I didn't manage to get their first, but it doesn't matter, you can just blow up whoever did get it first and pick it up. Avoid getting blasted yourself and make it safely back to Robina's to win.
Mission 21; Balls: C'mon, Rockstar, you can do a little better than that, surely? This mission doesn't involve any sort of balls at all, all we have to do is escort a couple of Cubans to various spots in Little Havana. The Cholo's are causing chaos and it's up to us to stop them. However this is a rather easy mission since your two allies will competently drive-by anything, though you can make it go faster by running over Cholo's or helping with the drive-by's.
Mission 22; Papi Don't Screech: I remember this being an arsehole of a mission when I first played it five years ago, but it's honestly not that bad. Robina's hysterical because Cholo's have been seen driving towards the stadium, where Robina's dad is watching the wrestling. We have to pick him up and drive him VERY CAREFULLY to his café. He's old, you see, and you drive too fast, or crash too hard and his heart will give out and he will die. The second half of the drive home you have to deal with Cholo cars, if they spot you they will shoot, which is obviously not good for Alberto's heart. You can avoid them though. Arrive at the café before the generous time limit ends and win.
Mission 23; Havana Good Time: I love puns. This is the final Robina mission. Basically you have to drive to a Cholo warehouse, kill the guards. Then the Cuban's will roll in with a little gift for our Cholo buddies...
This mission marks the end of the Cholo's at long last, as the Cuban's stand tall! If you haven't taken over all of their businesses (which you should, since they are the easiest to take over) then they'll become damaged, available for purchase (or Biker owned...). We also unlock a new outfit, the "Cuban Style"...
(Voiced by: Danny Trejo)
The leader of the Cuban's, he makes his second appearance in a GTA game. Much like in Vice City, he acts as an ally for the player character, and is one of the rare few that remains loyal to both Tommy and Victor. He likes men with big balls, though he's all about the women.
Danny Trejo voices him in both games, an accomplished actor whose own life is an interesting story as well. He's appeared in movies such as Grindhouse, Heat and...uhh...Spy Kids. He's bad-ass enough to get away with it though...
Next time on VCS: Vance Brothers...UNITE!